So with that aforementioned insecurity in tow, I've been thinking about the woman I want to be. I want to be reliable, responsible, dependable (and let's be real here, that just doesn't describe me right now) but still spontaneous and ready for an adventure. I want to be honest, kind, and remember to do basic things like pray each and every day. I want to get straight A's in school and not procrastinate on work that needs to be done. I want to read books, piles and piles of them, books about the world and the incredible, inspiring people in it. I want to be a loving and supportive wife to my husband, there for him when he needs me, and even when he doesn't. I want to eat fresh, healthy food and exercise daily. I want to be dilligent enough to keep my nails painted and my eyebrows in order and...to be perfectly honest, to remember to shower every day. I want to be artistic and creative, making music and crafts and art and other things that create beauty and joy on a regular basis. I want to be inspired, and I want to inspire others. I want to climb mountains and move them.
We are only human, and it is not healthy or productive to set unrealistic goals for ourselves. I'm going to be taking it slow, day-by-day, trying to improve the way I live little by little. Making all of those changes all at once just seems like a recipe for failure and a mental break-down or two. Just because we're not exactly who/where/doing what we want doesn't mean we should think less of ourselves. We're on the journey, just like everybody else.
I guess what I'm trying to say is this: We will never be perfect (no matter how hard we try!) and we should stop comparing ourselves to others and absolutely stop hating ourselves when we don't meet the impossibly high goals we set. We can take baby steps. We can attempt each day to be a little better than we were the day before, and the best part is that the only people who can tell us what "better" means are ourselves.