Thursday, September 13, 2012

Not Everyone Is Going To Like You

This means fall is coming. 

I like to share a lot of different aspects of my life on this blog. Food, fashion and travel are definitely the dominant themes. Still, I also like to write about lessons learned in life, whether they be related to marriage or housework or even something really silly.

A lesson I've been slowly learning the past several years is this:

Not everyone is going to like you. 

That's okay.

It's not your job to make them change their mind.

It is okay to have unpopular opinions.

It is okay to voice those opinions.

It is okay to do and say what you feel is good and right, even if others may not like it.

It. Is. Okay.

In my first two years of high school, I wanted what nearly every teenage girl wants: to be liked. I tried hard to be part of a group of friends that were "the cool ones," (I went to a performing arts high school so the term "cool" is relative here) and succeeded, kind of.  They really were nice people, I ate with them at lunch and hung out with them after school...but never quite felt completely welcome or at ease. I needed to be cool enough, so I was never really myself. I was so caught up in the idea that everyone needed to like me and did whatever I could to make myself likable.

My junior year of high school, I decided to switch to a special high school on the campus of our local college, taking university courses for high school credit. I started growing up, figuring out "me," who I was and who I wanted to be. I realized that the only person I needed to impress and change myself for was me. After this revelation I formed the strongest friendships with people who knew exactly who I was and loved me for it. I've been apart from these friends for over a year and still talk to most of them daily. 

Fast forward a few years, and here I am with this blog. I am putting my life on display for hundreds of people to read about each day. I do it because I love it, and boy do I love the friends I've made along the way. But for every blog reader who likes what I do here, there's one who has decided my style of writing, or photography or fashion or overall sense of exuberance is just not for them.

And that's okay.

Negative feedback used to really bother me, both on this blog and in real life. Things have changed recently, though, and I'm learning to appreciate even the harshest of criticisms for what they are and brush them off. They don't ruin my day anymore, or even my hour.

I am comfortable with who I am, where I am and what I'm doing. I am happy. I love it when I get a positive response from people here on the blog (obviously) but the only people I feel truly responsible to please are my husband, my God and myself. And so long as I'm being the person I feel I need to be...well, sticks and stones.

And yes, that's okay too! 


Betsy said...

LOVE this attitude! good for you, girl.

RetreatingAndAdvancing said...

We all have to learn this lesson and it wasn't easy for me either.. You've got a good attitude!

Ech and Will said...

I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea of not being liked because of who I am, but I'm getting there. Good for you!

Shannon said...

Excellent post! It's a tough lesson to learn for us all, but I think you have the right attitude. :)

Karm said...

That photo just makes me want to put my leg warmers on and get my jacket out (: I love Fall!

And I agree, I no longer care what other people say or think, I am doing what I want and not worrying about being liked. I am fascinated with you, because you are so positive and I admire that. Keep it up!

Kelsea Echo said...

Love this. I've pretty much always had that attitude, but it honestly puzzled most people I talked to about it. No one is ever going to make everyone happy, and as you said... that's ok! Good post. =)

Ashlee said...

and don't aren't the only one. My Entire Blog has become "life lessons learned"...well, the last year of it atleast. :)

I think it's good to write these sorts of things down, because then in years down the road we can remember these moments..the ones that have made us grow and move on. :)


Alex Butts said...

Exactly, just be honest self and you'll be happy!

Jasanna Czellar said...

I wish I could emulate this more! For some reason, I'm a born people-pleaser. If I *think* someone doesn't like me or *think* I hear something that makes me think that, from people I'm trying to get to know...gosh darn it, it's all I can do to get that out of my mind. I've been really trying to work on this, this week. . .don't know why I struggle with it so much. :'P

kayleigh maryon said...

Thats a great attitude to have. Its really hard to hear criticism sometimes especially on your blog where you work hard and what you put on there. I work at having a positive attitude towards negative remarks everyday so its great to see a post like this one.

Anonymous said...

I think you are adorable and I love reading your blog. I love hearing about the good and the bad with people I admire makes you sounds more human. I think when people have mean things to say they are not happy with themselves.


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