I had a good morning today. I woke up relatively late, did a few chores, got ready to head on over to work (which I was excited for since I haven't seen the kids I watch in weeks.) I made breakfast for the kids when I arrived and they headed out to play. I opened up my laptop and decided to check my blog stats: I was surprised to see I was getting an unusual amount of traffic from a certain website. When I see I'm getting a lot of traffic from somewhere, I like to head on over to check it out, say thanks, and then maybe return the favor by linking to them on my own blog as thank you.
Well, it turns out a thread had been started about my blog. A very hurtful, negative thread. (And before I go any farther I feel it important to note that I think this website is horrible...any sort of forum dedicated to saying hurtful things about other people should not exist.) It was one of those situations where I know I should have just stopped reading but I couldn't - maybe you know what I mean. The main consensus of these contributors was that I am a silly nineteen year old (no arguments there) with an annoying and snotty way of writing that rubbed them the wrong way.
My first thought was to ignore them and move on without thinking about it ever again. After all, I've established a good relationship with so many readers and fellow bloggers and I love posting here every day so very much. It occurred to me, though, that I should stop and consider the things that they said. Despite the fact that most of their comments were written with a startling lack of tact...could they have a point, even just a little? I think yes, and that's humbling and sobering for me.
It was never my intention to portray myself as snotty, know-it-all-ish or above anything, and if you have ever felt this way while reading my blog I am sorry. That is not what I want this blog to be about and so maybe those comments are well deserved and I can learn from them. (Well, except for the one who said she never read anything of mine because my face was too irritating...that was just plain mean.)
On a slightly different note, I don't want you to think I'm writing this post like a puppy with its tail between its legs. I love blogging, I love talking to all of you and I'm grateful for the relationships I've established both on and offline because of this little piece of virtual space. I know this won't be the last time people say mean things - when you put your personal life on the internet for lots of people to read, it's bound to happen. I guess I'm just going to have to work on developing a thicker skin.
To those of you who wrote those things: I hope that publicly discussing things you hate about others has made you feel better about your lives, and that one day you'll be happy enough to go through each day without feeling the need to put other people down. Let me offer you this free pass: If you don't like what you read here, click "unfollow," delete me from your internet history and forget my blog address. That's fine. Really, no problem.
To those of you who have continually been a source of inspiration, love and support around here...well, thank you so much for everything.