Tuesday, May 8, 2012


Extreme closeup self portrait, completely sans makeup or photoshop

Today, I'm gonna be real with you guys. Totally upfront. We bloggers are quite guilty of portraying the absolute best, most perfect versions of ourselves through our blogs. In almost every case I do not put up photos of myself unless I'm in a "put together" outfit and my hair is done - and I usually run photoshop actions on my images before they go live on the blog. I know I'm not alone here. It happens SO OFTEN that I'm reading about a person's life on their blog and I'm suddenly stricken with feelings of overwhelming inadequacy. Why is their life so perfect? Why do they seem to have it all so together?
The answer: It's not, and they probably don't. 

My life is not perfect and I definitely DO NOT have it all together. Am I happy? Yes. Am I blessed? You bet. But here's the thing: I am incredibly and exceptionally flawed. Today, I'd like to talk about the things that make me human.

1. I am constantly, and I do mean constantly, comparing myself to other people. I measure my achievements up against theirs which sometimes prevents me from being happy for them. Then, if left to fester long enough, I start to develop all sorts of inadequacy complexes. 

2. I am terrible of taking care of things. Plants, inanimate objects - even things I really care about like my iPod or my camera somehow end up getting beat up. Example: My headphones broke yesterday. I've owned them for less than a month.

3. I drop things, spill things, and do generally klutzy things all of the time. This can be related to the previous number as well: I spilled water on my compute keyboard in January and it had to be replaced. 

4. I make messes. Big messes. It is impossible for me to keep things organized no matter how hard I work to create the perfect system or promise myself I'll do better next time. It just doesn't work.

5. Despite being a very religious person, it can be really hard for me to speak openly about my beliefs with others, particularly strangers. I believe this has to do with growing up with one religious parent and one non religious parent. Religion was never openly discussed in our home and I am feeling the effects of that, now.

6. I can be an over-achiever and a slacker, sometimes simultaneously. By brain somehow chooses what things I should go all out on and what things I should completely procrastinate and/or ignore. There is never a balance. 

7. I eat my feelings. All the time.

8. I have very little self control when shopping. I've had to start leaving my credit card at home - it gets bad, people. It gets bad.

9. I sometimes get so emotional that TV commercials make me cry. 

10. I sometimes forget to take care of myself. I will forget what deep conditioner and moisturizer and other vitally important things are. Sometimes I forget to shower. I will forget to take my vitamins and iron pills and then I'll get all anemic and start having exhaustion-induced panic attacks. This typically occurs during the final month of a school semester. 

I am praying that my honesty has not caused you all to lose respect for me and run away! I just want my blog to reflect me - the real me, the good and the bad and the ugly. Sometimes I wish I could always look like the photo-shopped version of myself - but I can't. 90% of the time I look like I do in that photo above, hair in a messy bun, wearing a big tee and yoga pants or jeans that are ripped along the bottom. It is not glamorous, it is not put together.

But, well, it's me. 

Hi, nice to meet you. 


rach said...

I don't know why someone would judge the real you versus the "perect" you. I for one always enjoy realness over perfection! I wouldnt worry too much about organization and that stuff either- it comes with time especially after you get married and two people bring thier stuff together! All of the sudden there is double the socks on the floor and double the dishes in the sink! Thanks for the real you!

Sadie Dear said...

It's so nice to see people writing about what they are really like! I struggle all the time with feeling inadequate... I have to really work on myself, reminding myself not to compare my life to other people. We all have things that we fight about ourselves, or we wouldn't be human! Well done.

Mel said...

I love all this honesty in the blogosphere lately. It was about time.

Hi you :)

Rai said...

I love this post, and I definitely get what you're talking about. xx

Lauren said...

All of this sounds good to me. I agree that sometimes reading some of the other blogs out there can make you feel completely inadequate. I don't think anyone will judge you though. And if they do, you don't want them reading your blog anyway :)

Jenny-O said...

This is absolutely one of my favorite posts so far! Yay to you!!!

Celeste said...

Great post! And I feel like that as well comparing lives with fellow bloggers. As do most bloggers do though.

arianapia said...

this is beautiful.

we all have struggles but we like to shine with the best we bring to the table.

i don't have much of a blog to start with but i may post something similar to this.

we are flawed and that's what makes us beautiful :)

believing in laughter

Laurie said...

i love this post and how honest you are! yay for being "real"


Ana F. said...

That's a great post, Daryl! Yay for bloggers that are not afraid to show their own awesome not so perfect selves. Because no one else is perfect. And we shouldn't try to be. It's the imperfections that make life pretty !!

San said...

Honesty is always incredibly refreshing and inspiring!
Thanks for sharing.

I have to take iron pills myself (anemia sucks!) and I always have to remember not to forget to take them.

ashley // chasing heartbeats said...

lovely and refreshingly honest. Not sure if you saw the #thingsiamafraidtotellyou posts going around the internet, but I have loved reading all of them and was inspired to finally push publish on one I wrote myself. I can definitely relate to most of what you have written, I have killed almost every plant I have owned (except one!!), I am a total klutz, and cry at romantic comedies :)

Sophie @TheForgeStyle said...

sounds so much like myself... i think more people than you'd think struggle with exactly those same things and that's perfectly ok. it's what makes you more real and i am glad you decided to blog about it :)

Ashlee said...

Oh Daryl, you obviously haven't read my blog LOL I am the most open and honest person about my feelings. I don't make my life seem like its perfect and all flowers. (Which, is probably why I only have 27 followers)..I dish my life out how it comes at me. Why? Because I want my blog to be a diary for myself to look back at and know "Wow, I made it through all that? I have really grow in these past years"...and to help inspire others whom go through hard times that things will be okay.

Blogs are supposed to INSPIRE others and help outselves. It's a gateway for Inspiration, however you choose to grab ahold of it. Being Real has to happen, it gets boring reading about all the fun trips, dinners, and fabulous parties people attend. I like your concept of this blog. :)


Alex Butts said...

My favorite thing is when blogs get real because you are terribly right, we are not perfect and life is not perfect. Sometimes I wish I was an anonymous blogger so I could put up anything and everything, but then I'd lose connections and a true association with my blog. Blah.

I so get you on the overacheiving/slacking thing, too.

Anna said...

thank you for being so honest! I agree that us bloggers tend to try to portray the perfect parts of our lives, but in reality no ones life is perfect. I too, constantly compare myself to others and I think it's a good quality to be able to recognize that and try to combat it! Thanks again, this really opened my eyes and made me think more about how I should start to portray myself!!



RetreatingAndAdvancing said...

Thanks for being so honest! I love your blog, you're very likable :) Greetings from Switzerland

Sue said...

More than one of these sound just like me. I hate portraying life as "perfect" but at the same time, I have a wonderful life and I feel like I have no right to complain about it at all. It's hard to find a balance but I love your blog so just keep doing what you're doing! xo

Sue said...

More than one of these sound just like me. I hate portraying life as "perfect" but at the same time, I have a wonderful life and I feel like I have no right to complain about it at all. It's hard to find a balance but I love your blog so just keep doing what you're doing! xo

kimberly rae said...

Yay for being human!! I love your eyes and I can never organize myself either!!

Betsy said...

so nice to meet you! we like you like this :)

Catherine @ Not Dressed As Lamb said...

Hi Daryl, thanks so much for your lovely comments on my blog! This was a lovely, honest post - great that this was the first of yours I got to read.

I pretty much agree with the comments everyone has left already re. perfection, though strangely I am a perfectionist!?? I strive for perfection (in all areas of life, I mean), but am also realistic and don't beat myself up if it's not reached... which it never is anyway! Though I have to say about your close up: your skin is TRULY perfect - you are a very lucky girl!! Lots of people would love to have skin that beautiful... look after it, when you get to my age it should still be gorgeous!

Catherine x

Lil' Bit and Nan said...

To be honest Daryl, it is so much more refreshing to stumble across a blog where the author is real. If I stumble across one that constantly brags about their life I am turned off and feel this author is making her readers feel inadequate and all she cares about is herself and that others should too. I don't continue to read these blogs. Sharing your shortcomings, mistakes, being humbled, and the imperfections of your life is what truly grasps readers for the right reasons. I had a blogger friend be attacked on her blog recently because someone felt she was being fake. There will be critics out there.

Laura said...

Hehehe this is great! And after reading it I feel like we have so much in common!

Jamie said...

Love this post.

livroseoutrasfelicidades said...

Nice to meet you too. The real you :-)


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