Thursday, January 26, 2012

Pretty Sure I Terrified My Husband Today.

Last week, I told you all the final "chapter" of our pre-marital love story. Given that, it seemed appropriate that today I would tell you about my wedding.  I've had "wedding story" scheduled in today's box in my little blog calendar for weeks.

But, just as in life, sometimes things come up, and I feel impressed to talk about something else today.

This morning, I was ready to bite my husband's head off. 
We didn't fight, per se, but I was one angry woman.
About what, you ask?

I clearly have some hormonal anger management issues.
I have been trying to motivate myself to go running each morning. I managed to go running on Tuesday, but it wasn't until about 11 AM. This morning was the first morning I woke up and actually felt a proper amount of motivation to get up and go.
Pulled myself out of bed, do a little stretching, and go off in search of my running gear.
I absolutely can not find my sweatpants anywhere.
I look for them, high and lo, and I finally find them hidden behind a bag full of my husband's clean laundry that he still hadn't put away yet.
But by this time it was too late to go running - if I did, I'd be late for my German class.

I became unreasonably angry.
So angry, in fact, that as Steven got ready for work I sensed him avoiding me and hurrying around.
He confessed later that he was, indeed, rushing because he wanted to run away from me. 

Now I attribute most of this ridiculous reaction of mine to hormones, 
but my behavior was still incredibly inexcusable.
I ruined both our mornings because I chose to be angry about something incredibly tiny and ridiculous.
I chose to be angry at my husband, when the poor man hadn't done anything wrong.
I chose to be angry.  

After realizing that this entire morning of not nice feelings was indeed caused by sweatpants, 
I dropped to my knees in prayer, and suddenly everything was put into perspective.  It is so important to remember where priorities truly lie. There are things in life that I can be angry about, sure, situations in which I would be justified to be annoyed, but misplaced running pants certainly is not one of them. And even if the situation was, say, about something a little less frivolous
Why should I I let myself be bothered?
Why should I waste precious time being upset about something, when I can be working to fix the problem instead?
Or, better yet, doing something enjoyable with my time?

Today, whatever happens, I choose to be happy.
Join me?


rach said...

Found your blog through megan and suitcase and stilettos- Have to say I have been there before! I moved to ireland shortly after marrying my husband and believe me living overseas can be one of the most stressful things you'll ever do! its hard enough being newly married and getting used to living with one another, much less in a different country/culture and so far away from family and friends! I once blew up over a blue sweater- That I ended up throwing away in anger.( it was brand new BTW. not so smart but i felt like it made sense at the time haha) It wasnt one of my proudest moments and it wasn't the last time I got upset over something trivial. Thank god I married a patient and understanding person! Don't beat yourself up over being emotional we all have days like that and it sounds like you have a supportive husband there by your side!

The Hawke's said...

I love this post, I have been in these kinds of moments and it is the worse feeling in the world.I just have to let my pride go and forget and forgive. Prayer is so powerful in these moments and so is words of apology. Thank you for posting and letting me know that I am not alone. I want to be better too.


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