Friday marked the beginning of a large creative project that may or may not turn out to be something super exciting and great. It’s too early to speak up about anything now, but things are looking promising. I feel a bit insane for taking on yet another task at this point in life, but when inspiration strikes…you have to answer, right? If all goes well you’ll be hearing more about this in a couple of weeks.
I don’t know why sleep is so difficult to take hold of these past couple of nights. I lay in bed, husband next to me sleeping like a rock, unable to silence the thoughts jumping around in that head of mine. Really, they will not stop jumping…I think they may be square dancing. Or perhaps their dancing is something a little more refined…like the Macarena. In any case, these thoughts are what result in my being up at 3 AM and dictating each moment of my life for all to read about.
What, you ask, could I possibly be pondering that keeps me from getting that beauty rest? The answer is as broad and unclear as it is vague: I’m thinking about life.
The future is quite unclear for us at this point in time. Both of us agree that we want to live in America long term, but the more I stay in Germany the more reluctant I am to leave. Thoughts of school, degrees, diplomas immediately cause my blood pressure to increase – so many people I know have school figured out to every last detail, wheras I am still staring down into a gigantuous sea of decisions, too indecisive or commitment-phobic to just pick one.
Hah. The girl married at 19 a commitment phob? That’s Irony.
I kid. I’m really not a commitment phob. In fact, my relationship with my husband is something – maybe the only thing – that I am 100% sure about. Although I have no idea where exactly I’ll be a year from now, I do know this: Steven will be with me and that will make any situation a whole heck of a lot better.
I started (yet another) journal this weekend. One of the first few pages I titled:
- Write a page a day in this journal, being sure to include what I am grateful for.
- Read one chapter (at a minimum) of scripture each day.
- Limit computer time. Time blog posts. Only check social media once or twice.
- Read. More. Books.
- Take a deep breath and remember that you can’t always do it all.
- Never forget that the whole point of life is to live it.
Happy Almost Halloween, My Dear Friends!