Thursday, April 16, 2015

#STOPSORRY: A Different Kind of Self Esteem Movement

Last week I wrote this post for The Everygirl about "self-esteem" advertisements that get it wrong.

I decided to create one that tries to get it right.

BAM. You're welcome.

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Dos and Don'ts for Climbing Mount Timpanogos

Mount Timpanogos is the second tallest mountain in Utah's Wasatch mountain range. It's also the first real mountain I've ever climbed. I can say without hesitation that reaching the summit was one of the most physically challenging and mentally rewarding things I've ever done.  The hike is strenuous but not difficult on a technical level so even inexperienced hikers can reach the top with enough willpower.

Here are some tips to help make the most out of your climb!

DO: Pack enough snacks to keep you energized throughout the day. Energy bars, string cheese and trail mix are all good options. Consider bringing some sugary snacks for quick bursts of energy when you need it.

DON'T: Overpack. A small backpack with straps at the waist and chest is ideal. The heaviest item in your pack should be drinking water.

DO: Climb more than once.  The man in the photo above has summited Mount Timp one to two times a week (throughout climbing season) for the past several years! You don't need to go that often, but it's an interesting hike that has it all: forest, meadows, lakes...even a glacier!

DON'T: Climb before May or after October, and even then check the climbing conditions before you go.  Winter hiking requires technical climbing experience and is much more dangerous. June-September are the ideal climbing months.

DO:  Get started early. We started our hike at the Timpooneke trailhead in American Fork Canyon at 6:30 AM and still didn't reach the top until about 3:30 PM. If you plan on beginning any later than the crack of dawn, bring a flashlight for the way back!

DON'T: Overdress. Summer hikers probably only need a T-shirt and windbreaker. Spring and Fall hikers will likely need a T-Shirt, a warmer layer and a windbreaker plus a hat and gloves. Dress in layers, because the hike can be warm near the bottom and then windy and bitterly cold once you reach the ridge line.

DO: Wear shoes or boots that fit well and support your ankles. The last third of the trail crosses what is essentially a giant pile of rocks and slate. Your ankles will roll if they don't have the proper support.

DON'T: Litter. This much should be obvious. Finding trash along this gorgeous trail is no fun!

DO:  Take your time to enjoy the summit.  It will have taken you the better part of the day to get there, so spend forty minutes or an hour resting and taking in the views. You might even see some mountain goats!  

Thursday, January 15, 2015

An Open Letter to My Church: Please Stop Excommunicating the Doubters

This blog post is written in response to the Mormon Church's move to excommunicate John Dehlin announced this morning January 15th, 2015.

I am a Mormon woman living in Salt Lake City. I am hurting.

That's what happens when one wakes up and finds themselves in the grip of a harrowing and tumultuous crisis of faith: it hurts. I hurt.

I don't know exactly when it began. I progressed into my early twenties, growing into myself and developing an understanding of who I really was and who I wanted to be.  With that growth came a slew of glaring and unanswerable questions.  Suddenly, mercilessly, I understood that my belief in the teachings of the Mormon church came not from my own convictions but from passive acceptance of the lessons and traditions I'd been raised with. It wasn't working for me anymore; blindly accepting what I was told and calling it faith was not the way I wanted to worship... it stopped being enough.

I am a doubter.
I am a doubter, and I'm hurting.

I don't fit perfectly within the Mormon box.  I am loud. I am ambitious. I want a career. I want to graduate summa cum laude and go to an Ivy League graduate school.  I've been happily married for over three and a half years but still have no desire to have children. It's not that I just want to wait until school is over or until we're more financially stable....I just genuinely do not want to be a mother at this point at time. Maybe that will change. Maybe it won't.

I have no desire to stop consenting adults from loving or marrying each other, regardless of their sexual orientation. I can accept that God considers the union of a man and a woman to be sacred, but I believe fiercely in agency (2 Nephi 2:27) and I can't wrap my head around the idea of a religious organization pouring millions of dollars into influencing legislation to take that agency away. It baffles me and breaks my heart.
As I began sorting through these feelings I read talk after talk, lesson after lesson, all telling me I was wrong, selfish, a sinner. The guilt was overwhelming. Why couldn't I change the way I felt? I wanted to change, and yet it was impossible - it was impossible because it would mean rewriting every facet of my identity and lying to myself on the most intrinsic of levels.

I want to believe. I have never in my life wanted anything so fiercely and so desperately...but it's not so easy. It's not a thing I can fix by just "praying and reading my scriptures," which seems to be the cure-all prescribed and exhorted in every Sunday school class and Testimony Meeting.  If I am to ever find my way back to that proverbial path I will need to be unfailingly honest with myself.  If I'm to find or grow the testimony I wish I'd always had, it needs to be real and, most importantly, it needs to be mine.

I began a zealous search for answers. I read the Bible, the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants. I read a 740 page historical biography of Joseph Smith. I poured over books and blogs, subscribed to podcasts, joined facebook groups.

Incredibly...I found that I wasn't alone. There were thousands just like me who had one too many questions and many seeds of doubt, and yet they were trying just as earnestly as I was to hold on and find a way back. It was the most merciful of blessings I could have hoped for - suddenly I had a family who understood me, supported me, and carried me back to a much healthier and positive place.  They showed me that it's possible to be a flawed, passionate, liberal, imperfect feminist and still believe that Jesus is my savior, that the Book of Mormon is inspired, that the leaders of my church are human and flawed but can still be called to do God's work.  They gave me hope.

As I'm sure you've already gathered from the title of this post, one of those groups is Mormon Stories, a website/podcast/facebook group that creates a genuine discussion about the issues within the Mormon church, created and run by John Dehlin.  This is not an anti-Mormon website. This is not a wolf in sheep's clothing out to prey on the flock.  This is a community of doubters who want, like me, to find their way home.

Today you moved to excommunicate John Dehlin. Last month, you called a friend of mine into a BYU disciplinary hearing for no other crime than identifying as a feminist. This summer, you removed a woman I respect from a church calling because she voiced her opinion on same-sex marriage in front of a church member who then reported her.

By doing these things you tell me that my doubt equates to apostasy.  You tell me that voicing genuine opinion and fears is dangerous and worthy of punishment.  You tell me that people like me are unwelcome in your house. 

In a church and community where I am supposed to feel joy and love and forgiveness, you make me feel unsafe.

I want to be a Mormon and I want to be a believer.  I just wish it weren't so hard sometimes. 

Monday, November 3, 2014


Sometimes the spoken word says it better, don't you think? You can click through to the video on youtube to access helpful links and sources that I've posted to the youtube description.

The fact of the matter is this: Women are hugely under-represented at the polls in all US elections, but the disparity is particularly huge/crazy/ridiculous during the midterm elections.

There are many reasons for this, and I know with work, school, kids and other responsibilities, taking the time to research congressional candidates can seem overwhelming.

 Still, I beg you. Less than a century ago, WOMEN COULD NOT VOTE. Through the hard work, pain and alienation of brave women before us, we thankfully have that right and ability now. Let's honor them by exercising said constitutional right tomorrow.

 If you're having trouble making sense of it all, I'd love to help you sort things out. Leave a comment, send me an email or contact me through social media!

See you at the polls!

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Easy + Cheap Halloween Costume Idea: Velma

I decided I wanted to be Velma for Halloween just a few weeks ago when I was watching Scooby Doo with my friend's kids. It fit right in my favorite category of Halloween costumes: Something cute but quirky and fun. Past halloween costumes include but are not limited to: Where's Waldo, Rainbow Brite, Mary Poppins, etc;.   I grew up watching Scooby Doo and ALWAYS related to Velma. I was never much of a Daphne.

What was the best thing about this costume? When all was said and done the outfit only cost me $8, one trip to the thrift store and a stop at walmart.


Orange Turtleneck - Thrifted ($3)
Red Skirt - Already in my closet! It was originally from the Etsy Store Seven Blooms.
Orange Socks - Walmart ($3.87, in a pack with two other knee-highs)
Shoes - Already in my closet. Originally from Nasty Gal. 
Magnifying Glass - Walmart ($0.94) 
Glasses - These glasses are my regular prescription glasses and worked perfectly, but any cheap pair of fake glasses from a drugstore would work!

Total Cost: $7.81! 

Happy Halloween, everyone! What/who are you dressing up as? 

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

I Hate FCKH8's "F-Bombs for Feminism" video, But Not Because of the Swearing.

Yesterday, for-profit t-shirt company FCKH8 released a video called "F Bombs for Feminism: Potty Mouthed Princesses use Bad Words for a Good Cause." [NSFW] featuring five young girls, dressed in all of their pretty pink princess finery, angrily declaring their outrage over male/female inequality and dropping some pretty grown-up words while they did so.

The words were carefully crafted to get your attention. Hearing an adorable six year old girl, dressed as a Disney character no less, dropping F-bombs as easily as a teenager from Jersey is purposefully shocking. The video was meant to attract attention and that it most certainly has: It has been shared on FB alone nearly 200,000 times since it's release yesterday.

I know that I am right in the target demographic for FCKH8's video, which was meant to appeal to young, "hip" feminists 18-35  (as well as shock and anger most conservatives, likely earning them thousands of  hate shares, which still help the video go viral) and I certainly don't hate the message these little girls are loudly sharing. Though the video is short, they mention some big and very important issues: Inequality, economic disparity, violence against women and sexual assault.

The problem is not so much with the message itself, but rather with the company who produced it. FCKH8 claims (and really wants us to believe) that the video was created to spread awareness about sexism and patriarchal realities, but the truth is that it's not a PSA we're watching -- It's an advertisement.  

Is it equality FCKH8 is looking to promote, or is it just their T-shirts?

I'll be honest when I say I have always found FCKH8 to be a problematic company. It's difficult for me to see them as anything more than a T-shirt shop wanting to profit as much as possible off of the LGBTQIA+ community (while also perpetuating stereotypes that are harmful to the very demographic they want to attract.) They've had a history of stealing art for their gear and have reacted poorly when accused of doing so. Their business ratings are extremely low and they're infamous for terrible customer service. [source]

I think I would feel very differently about this video if it were actually made by young girls who were angry about their place in this world, swear words or no swear words. If they had gotten together and figured out that they could spread a message they were passionate about by dropping f-bombs left and right in princess dresses, I would have applauded them for their media savvy and frighteningly amazing grasp on internet marketing. The truth is that sexism IS real and it IS a problem and I don't have any qualms with that message being spread around.

I do, however, have problems with exploiting children to make a buck.

This is not the first time FCKH8 has done something like this, either. Earlier this year they released a similar video in relation to the events in Ferguson, Missouri that also pledged to donate $5 per T-shirt to an unnamed organization.  This seems to be FCKH8's business model: Figure out what social issue people are very passionate about and then exploit that issue to make money. I can't be the only one who gets a bad taste in my mouth at this idea.

If you are interested in volunteering your time or money for women's empowerment and are looking for alternatives to FCKH8, you can use websites like Great Nonprofits or Charity Navigator to search for trustworthy grassroots organizations local to your area, as well as do a little background research on the organizations you choose so you know exactly where that money is going.

A carefully scripted advertisement that puts adult words into children's mouths in order to promote their shirts and make a killing is more exploitative than informative, and to me there's nothing feminist about that.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Spontaneous Madrid Trip Sneak Peak


Those of you who follow me on instagram may already know that earlier this month, I made...well, just about the most spontaneous decision I've ever made. I bought a ticket on Thursday, packed my bag, and left at 6 AM on Friday for MADRID! This turned into a three week adventure through Spain and Germany. Having now returned from a huge trip that I hadn't really prepared for, I am drowning in work and trying to get back on my feet!

In the mean time, here's a sneak peak of beautiful Madrid:


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